For the first time in my life, I am free of my past. I have officially removed my ex’s from my life and finally realize that none of them were meant for me. I was that girl who held on to hope, what if’s, and good old potential.
This year, little did I know, was a year of purging trauma, pain, old patterns, and toxic relationships. These past couple months have been the most transformative and I have never felt more like myself, without those men in my life.
I knew I was blocking my blessings by holding onto past relationships but because I didn’t truly believe that better was out there for me (even though I talked enough shit to make you think I did) I just didn’t let them go.
I had hoped that one of them (because let’s face it I only date me with something to offer) would get it together and finally stop fearing commitment. I now realize that those men weren’t afraid of committing to me, they just weren’t for me. I am so happy things never worked out with any of them. I mean that with no shade, just full clarity.
I accepted so many lies, so much rejection, and a lot of bullshit during my relationships and even post-breakup. I have always been the “ride or die” type so I always felt necessary to hear one out, give 100 chances, forgive, etc and that need to do so with my exes finally gave out.
I have no desire to keep in contact, no desire to discuss them to family and friends, no desire to love them, no desire to keep any hope alive. I haven’t felt this way before and I know this is a shift for me and it’s for my good.
It’s only three days into November, my birthday month, and this shift is happening almost as if it’s a gift for me. I can’t deny the feeling. I even have been waking up feeling so different and so content that I am having convos with myself like “Are You Good?”
I have a feeling that the tall, sexy, healthy, educated, successful, loving, generous, funny man I desire will be coming into my life soon. I was once told by a practical witch (don’t lose your cool with the word witch just keep reading) and physic that around this time of my life I’d finally be meeting my husband (and more but I’ll keep the other details to myself).
You might think I am crazy, I am, and you might think I am just bluffing but I promise you I know this to be true and this year inner work and end of the year finally releasing past relationships that I was afraid to let go of are clear indicators for me that I am preparing for a great love, romance, partnership, marriage, and family.
This post was a quick, random, and journal style post but I had to get this out and put it into the Universe and let you guys know too. I won’t lie, the urge to do this post came after watching ACE Family videos back to back. I promise you they are a great example of what it is I want.
Alright, enough going on and on, just know I made this statement. Be ready to stan my relationship, watch all my YouTube videos, and like all my family photos.