Summer is finally over and breezes are coming through my windows! I can’t express how delighted I am even though I will truly miss wearing crop tops with thin see-through yoga pants every day. True Cali Girl!
We have just exited a Full Moon in Aries. If you had a chance to see how beautiful it was those two days (Sep 24th-Sep 25th) you know what I am talking about. With that full moon there was a lot of deep emotions running and purging of old ways, thinking, and people, and habits that were limiting.
I was happily affected by that energy and found those two days very hard to be motivated to get work done let alone post online. That can be pretty annoying and scary for me because my livelihood depends on me being relevant and posting. However, this energy had my spirit begging me to just STOP, rest, and evaluate what needs to stay and what needs to go.
I get so caught up in the pressures of it all that sometimes I’m not even enjoying myself. Posting can be so draining because sometimes I don’t feel like I’m creating content I want. A lot of my followers want ‘pretty’ and ‘mindless ent’ and the true Kaylen wants to give wisdom and spirituality.
So with all that I was feeling, I took yesterday off to completely just get my heart and mind in one place and then it dawned on me, I had forgotten what got me to where I am today. I completely lost sight of the blueprint and now wonder how I even continued to make it this far. As much as I may not be completely fulfilled with my content I completely lost sight of my own formula.
There were times where I was so eager and so hungry to get exposure online or get booked for gigs or brand deals that I would stay up all night drafting emails and sending out hundreds of them once finalized. I use to research what events were coming into town, apply to modeling gigs 25/8, and even interact with other content creators online to build my network. I was hooked on making success a consistent thing.
I realized yesterday that those habits and routines had been dropped. When though? When I started seeing over $4000 a month, or when I got verified on Twitter, or when I ended up on my second Reality TV Show? When did I stop being hungry and when did I get so content with things? Whatever or whenever it was, I had forgotten what got me here.
I am not saying that my life is terrible or that I haven’t continued to succeed, I’m just saying that I could be so much further in life had I not gotten comfortable and stopped showing up for practice. I’m acting like I won rings and championships and got money like an NBA player. I mean I still do work, but not the kind of work that got me through DOORS! The kind of work that gets you recognition and opportunities.
I am very grateful that I am aware of this and can make the necessary changes to get back to that blueprint. I need a boost of new energy for the remainder of the year. I no longer want to stand in my own way. I prefer to feel fulfilled versus complaining about how I am not fulfilled.
If you can relate, I encourage you to get back to the blueprint. I’m not telling you to starve but get hungry. As long as you know what type of results you’ll get, and that works for you, get to it.
I’ll check back in soon!