The coined “love day” is tomorrow! And folks, we are open to receiving. (Yes, you are.) Whether it be receiving gifts from a lover, friend, or family member, we are here, present, and eager. (Yes, you are.) Valentines day has always either been a happy day for some and a shitty day or others. Since I have experienced both spectrums, I can now say that I don’t allow the day to define me or my happiness.
I post petty and funny attention seeking post around Valentines Day because, well my ego has a name, Petty LaBelle. She enjoys posting things that laugh at relationship issues and status. She’s like every other girl who wants the fairytale romance yet has a inbox full of fuck – tards. (Language, I know, my bad.)
Despite my lit ego, and laughter at some things that cause pain, I had to let you guys know it’s NOT THAT SERIOUS. But what is that serious is you getting into the habit and understanding that self love is the only love you need in order to receive love anywhere else!
This post is going to be the very essence of how to determine your level of happiness on a day that feeds into either being enough or not enough. We are going to go over a simple list of things you can do for yourself on Valentines Day and also look at a few mindset shifts that force you to look inward in hopes that you’ll practice self-love on every given day.
- Try something new. You’ve always wanted to hike or take a spin class? Do it.
- Treat yourself. Never been to the spa or got a massage? Yelp spas and parlors and give yourself some TLC.
- Clean the crib and create a space that is deliciously inspiring and comforting. Your environment has a huge impact on your mood.
- Get your favorite snack, drink, and cuddle up with a new book and get lost.
- Put on your comfy clothes, order take out, and binge watch your favorite show.
- Tell them how you feel. If you are mourning a relationship write a letter and say everything you never told them and then burn it.
- Make a list of all the things you like about yourself then recite it back to yourself in the mirror.
- Host a women-empowerment night with your other single friends. Talk about your struggles, how you plan to overcome them, and what it takes to be the best version of yourselves.
- Show love to others. The amount of love you are willing to give others says something great about you. Treat your parent or maybe a sibling to Valentines Day.
- Spend time outdoors. Go jogging, or workout outdoors. Get active and being with nature can really help shift your bad mood and clear those pessimistic thoughts.
Some of you may be thinking “that’s it?” or “that list doesn’t sound like what Valentine’s Day should feel like” but I am here to tell you that self-love isn’t what we always think it should be. For example, in society, women are taught to splurge and go on shopping spree’s when we feel our lowest.
Well, what if I told you self-love is actually NOT splurging on temporary fixes likes makeup, clothes, shoes, etc. What if I told you Self-love is actually choosing not to spend on anything but actually sitting with yourself and figuring out why you feel the way you do and then doing something about it.
Self-love is all about looking within and realizing that nothing outside of you can ever truly fulfill you. It must start within. With that being said, self-love is a case-by-case, and season-by-season thing as well. So you may have already looked within, and worked on somethings, and now you’d like to spend on yourself as well. Find the balance and harmony in your case and season of self-love.
YOU CAN DO IT!
- Begin telling yourself that you are enough because you are.
- Remind yourself that their opinion of you, does not define you.
- Self-love can be as small as getting up out of your sleep when you are super comfy to pee. (It’s also the adult thing to do, kids hold their pee and or wet the bed lol)
- You are the example for others on how to treat you.
- You must first love you, how you would want someone else to love you.
- Are you blocking love from arriving? If so, how? And how can you be more open and receptive to love?
- Are you really even ready for a relationship or are you just bored? If you aren’t ready and just bored, step back, stop playing mind games with yourself, and get focused.
The list above is just some things to be reminded on or ask yourself to gain clarity and set intention. Be sure to hold yourself accountable in the love and relationship department. Don’t allow tomorrow to determine your happiness.
You are so much more than a day that is hyped up so business can make some money. You are love and you are loved no matter who or what is or isn’t in your life. If you are feeling down despite trying your best to uplift yourself just know that this too shall pass. It’s all so temporary.
To the ladies who aren’t worried, have some damn fun and keep carrying on as well!
Love y’all foreal.