Hi you guys! So I have decided to create this advice column. I will be doing this as frequently as you guys continue to reach out with questions. This is technically a test post to see if you guys will enjoy something like this every week. I have answered most questions individually so this post will be two great questions that I waited to share on here.
I hope you enjoy, and my advice and opinion resonates with you. I want to also add a disclaimer and state that by any means I am not responsible for anyone choices, I am only here to give my opinions based off of my own experiences in life.
Hey babe, so I can so relate to you. I once had a relationship that lasted a little over 2 years and it took me about 3 years to get over the pain and resentment. My advice for you is to accept how you feel. Know that it is okay to feel the way you do, however be aware that it is also a choice.
You are fully capable of moving on in a heart beat, but sometimes we just aren’t ready to let the memory and pain go because it keeps us attached to that person that we didn’t want to let go. So be very aware of that. If you can be honest with yourself and realize you are willing holding on, accept that.
Maybe you can give yourself an expiration date on when you will make the choice to detach yourself from his memory. Take your time. It took me years, I just wasn’t ready to let him go in my mind and in my heart. Don’t let yourself or anyone ridicule you for not moving on yet. You will when the timing is right, move forward.
When you do move forward, it will feel a little weird because your leaving your comfort zone, but I advice you get comfy with the new. It’s worth it. Something even greater is on its way.
I first want to start off by saying that you are loved! I have totally been in your shoes, as you now know. I want you to know that when someone makes it clear that they would like to pull away, you need to allow it.
This is an opportunity to find yourself and get a grip on being fine alone. Your reaction to him wanting to walk away is a sign that it is time for some self-love. You, WE, should never ever feel threatened or upset if someone wants to walk out of our lives. WE should be so secure within ourselves that we don’t feel like we are losing a part of us. WE are whole on our own and that needs to be realized. No man or person is needed to make us whole.
I know how tough it is to get hit with a curve ball like this. I recommend that you separate and allow him to pursue what he needs to pursue. It’s going to be tough, but worth it. You never know what this separation may mean for you. It could be a blessing in disguise. You might be dodging a bullet or come to realize you settled to begin with and a new refreshing relationship may come along to replace this one. Or you could be giving the relationship the breather it needs and you two mend the relationship and its better than ever.
Don’t be afraid to let go. Have faith that this separation will only benefit you. Also, if someone isn’t happy with you, you deserve to move on. You can’t stick around thinking you can prove to him how you can make him happy. You don’t deserve mediocre love. You deserve a passionate love. Go out there and get it!
P.S. One thing I can tell you is, when you walk away and move forward, they always end up crawling back anyway. 😉 Stay strong and have faith that everything will be just fine.
I want to let both girls know that pain doesn’t have to exist or be permanent. It is always a choice to rise above and shift into happiness. I know you probably replay so many conversations and moments in your head that fuel the pain. I know it seems like it wont end, but I promise it will and can. You just have to realize that you don’t have to feel the way you do.
You can release what you are feeling. All it takes is the awareness of realizing that there are better feelings and thoughts to be had at any given moment. You deserve the shift from sadness to happiness, so give it to yourself. No one person on this planet can fulfill you or give you happiness, it must come from you first. Take your time, but please work towards it.
If anyone else is seeking advice, I encourage you to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will answer your questions here. Your identity will always be private. I am here for you all! Thank you to the two lovely ladies for sharing their story and feeling comforatable to ask me if I had any input. Thank you to all that have tuned in. I love you<3