You Are Who You Date

Hey, so yesterday I decided not to post being I figured most of you were twerking on the hot guy you spotted in the club or you were watching Netflix with “bae”. Lol, I’m just playing. But while we’re speaking about the hottie in the club or your bae, I wanted to take some time out to help you recognize who and what you’ve got going on in your love life and what it all means. 

Let’s talk about Bae. So bae is probably attractive to you, and bae probably distracts you from negative behavior or activity. That’s cool. I mean we all want someone to make us feel like we have something worth prioritizing. It gives us a sense of purpose and it takes away our feeling being lonely. Or does it? Does bae truly make you feel as if you have found what you want? Does bae embody all the things you want in a person? Or are you just settling? See, now this is where honesty with yourself kicks in. Some people would rather answer yes, than no. Why? Because by saying no that means that a mistake has been made. Lies have been told, and settling has occurred. 

Let’s try a technique, let’s write down a list of all the things you truly want out of a bae. Okay I’ll help you start the list, just don’t start judging me lol 

Things I Want A Man to Be or Have 

  • Intelligence
  • Integrity 
  • Peace within himself
  • Respect for himself and others
  • Capability to travel
  • Security within himself
  • Healthy
  • Spiritual
  • Drug free 
  • Optimistic
  • Handsome 
  • Loyal
  • Honest
  • Wealthy
  • Lives on his own
  • Beautiful skin and smile
  • Tall
  • G6 … Lol jk 😉 
  • No kids
  • Beard

Okay you get the point … 
Make your list and read it back to yourself. Now let’s be even more honest with ourselves.. Are you any of those things on that list? Are you secure within yourself? Are you wealthy or do you even feel healthy? Be honest. Don’t be scared. This is your moment to become aware of your own energy and to realize why bae ISNT the bae you truly want. 

In order for anyone to enter your life and be what’s listed on your list is if YOU, become what’s on that list. You can’t have the energy of a insecure person, but yet wants a secure person as Bae. You can’t be a snake in the grass and have the nerve to ask for a loyal honest bae! Energy and the Universe don’t work like that boo. You must, embody what it is you want out of a significant other. Become that honest, loyal, and intelligent person so that you can match up with another loyal, honest, and intelligent person. 

You mad now? Don’t be mad. Don’t go trying to dump bae in a harsh way. Now that your aware, you can make the choice to either become single and work on embodying what’s on your list, or you can continue to settle. It’s entirely upon you. But let me tell you something.. Do not be harsh or judgmental towards your bae for not being what you truly want. For you my friend, aren’t even what you want. That is on you, not the person you are with. If you come to a place of no longer being able to be with that person anymore, due to your new awareness, let them go, gently and with love. For karma is real, and how you treat others, is how you ask to be treated, and ultimately how you would treat yourself. 

Okay so, let’s say you release bae and you start working on becoming what it is you want out of someone. You start to recognize that new people are approaching you or DM’ing you on Instagram. (That’s a clear indication that your effort in becoming the person you want is working.) Your truly making a shift and your liking it. So you give a newbie a shot at dating you, things are going well, but you come across a road block early on. This new bae isn’t as respectful as you’d like. Well instead of judging or fussing over it, recognize that it’s only a reflection of you. Are you being disrespectful towards others or yourself? You must be. So that’s where you take intiative to clean up that energy. Dating is a way of truly seeing who you are as a energy being. The person you date is just a mirror of you and if your aware enough you can make necessary changes within yourself if you aren’t liking what you see.

Maybe the person you are dating is a reflection of your fears. You might have a fear of being cheated on or being controlled and so your bae embodies being controlling and they can’t seem to be faithful. Don’t waste your time playing the victim in these types of scenarios. Take action by releasing those fears so you can stop attracting a lover that cheats and is controlling. If you don’t take action and release those fears, for it is only energy, you will continue to carry that energy into the next series of relationships. This is why so many people continue to enter crappy relationships over and over. It’s because they haven’t made a effort to be aware of themselves and make a change within themselves. 

So, let’s remember that if you want a honest and loyal person in your life, You must be a honest and loyal person first. You are what you attract, and in order to attract what you want, you must be what it is you want. No more pity parties or playing the victim. You create your destiny, so take necessary action to attract your ideal partner. Be easy, practice makes perfect, you will get it right eventually. 

Share some stories of how you were aware of what your energy was through a partner in the comments below. 

                            – Kaylen Zahara 

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