Source lead me to Awareness

What makes you ache? What sends you into a complete state of infatuation? What keeps you locked in for hours before you realize that you forgot you had a phone? Who reminds you of that dream you once believed in? What is it that makes you feel calm and accepting of your present being? I had to ask myself those same type of questions when I made the decision to dive into paying attention to my intuition and being one with my authentic self, what I know to be as Source. I felt like my own Source was consistently urging me to pay more attention to myself and what makes me do what I do everyday. It was like someone following beside me each day throwing random things, people, scents, words, sounds and objects into my path that all lead to the realization that something wants me to stop and listen. Stop and listen to the silence. That silence came once my mind stopped racing. My thoughts were in a paralyzed state and I could just be. In that state I analyzed my emotions. At first I could not think of anything to be more aware of. I thought I was already aware of myself. Aware of how I dress, how I choose to manuver when I made plans to leave my home, what was in my home and in my car while traveling. I mean the list could go on about what I thought I was aware of. It wasn’t until I reminded myself of what my hypnotherapist said to me about being aware of my emotions. The memory instantly striked an “ah ha” feeling into my chest. Sort of like a “Duh” moment. Ephiphany. I was not aware of how I was feeling at all times. It felt kinda funny to me once it dawned on me that my recent manifestations weren’t exactly what I wanted and it was due to me not being aware of how I feel. I knew better than to not be aware. Its something I studied upon many times through the teachings of Abraham Hicks. I knew better and yet I was not doing better. It wasn’t until I asked myself what makes me ache. What emotion is causing me to be the way I am? What emotion keeps me from doing things I desire? What emotion is making me focus on every little thing I do? What emotion is keeping me from being in my vortex at all times? I sat with myself and analyzed my emotions. It took maybe five minutes to get to the bottom of the barrel. The emotions I dug out of this barrel were buried on top of the general feeling of Fear. I was fearful of being judged. I was fearful of making the wrong decision therefore I would let opportunities pass me and set my desires aside. I feared the uncertainty of the future. I doubted my own capabilities and accepted Fear as a default way to feel about everything. Yet if you asked me what I feared I would say “Nothing at all”. It is so easy for us to train our subconscious mind to trick us. To blind us to what it is we are doing to ourselves. We are preconditioned to focus only on what others are doing to us versus thinking and focusing on our own actions and thoughts/beliefs towards ourselves. Once you are truly aware of yourself, you then will see a shift in your reality. Your awareness of yourself will make you understand what you want and what you do not want. With choice you can do whats necessary for you to stay in awareness but also start doing and being what it is that supports you and your authentic self, which I know to be Source. – Kaylen Zahara

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